Friday, February 4, 2011

On Friendships and Floundering





Outfit Details:
lace dress - a surprise gift from Queen's Wardrobe (thank you, I love it!)
brown belt - gift from my mom, from her shop Hourglass Consignment
brown tights - courtesy of DKNY, from the gift card I won


*In my senior year of high school, ten of my friends and I piled into two cars and headed to a local chain restaurant to celebrate my seventeenth birthday. Forever teetering between being a floater and a misanthrope, I was thrilled to finally have a solid group of friends and a semblance of a social life, outside of academia. High school was actually a pleasant experience for me and my peers were generally (with a few exceptions) very kind - but this was the first time I had a full-fledged clique to rely on. We specialized in road trips, sleep overs, all-night adventures and early morning beach jaunts. I felt as though I hit the friend lottery. They came at a time in my life when I needed friends more than ever.

Though I was never big on birthdays, the group insisted on celebrating. After a raucous and wildly fun dinner, we all headed to Magnolia Shoppes for ice cream and a movie. As I excused myself to the bathroom of the ice cream shop, I thought about how lucky my best friend Lauren and I were to have this group of friends. Eleven of us: that was nine more than we had at our epic Millennium party.

When I came out, John and Lauren - who are now married - had horrified looks on their faces, and Rachel was pacing. It was John who said, "They're not your friends. They're a**holes." At first I thought it was a joke, until I walked outside and realized they were really gone. Apparently it was the plan all along, to ditch me on my birthday. I called their phones until someone answered: they were all laughing at me, and then they hung up. I should have cut my losses and said screw them, but instead I let it grip my insides and render me gutless. I was humiliated and devastated. My safe little bubble of friends, the buffer I came to rely on, was nothing but a bunch of cruel teens.

Seventeen, car-less and feeling absolutely broken, I sat in the parking lot and cried. At the time, I felt incredibly sorry for myself, but now I just look back and laugh, or think how lucky I was. I look back at that night and remember those friends doing everything in their power to turn my night around; I remember my crush, whom I had never seen outside of work, showing up in his pajamas to salvage the last hour of my birthday. To have three friends standing by my side, at the risk of social suicide - that's more than enough.

Though it's a funny story now, I sometimes wish I could go back and tell my teenaged self that it's not the end, that kids are cruel and selfish but probably just trying to fit in, that parents are out of their minds when they tell you that high school years are the best of your life, that those ridiculous standardized test scores mean absolutely nothing in the long run. But I can't, and so I save it for my little sister, who is enduring the trials of high school.

Just know this: when your friendships are no longer dictated by a teacher's seating assignments, it gets better. For the record, though Rachel and I have since lost touch, Lauren and John are still two of my closest friends. Quality over quantity, always. And if high school bull**** gets you down, just think of the stories you'll have when you're older.


*What does this have to do with the pretty lace dress I'm wearing in these pictures? Absolutely nothing, but there's only so much that I can talk about an outfit without drowning myself in exclamation points - and I was feeling reminiscent.

171 comments:

  1. The lighting in these photos is GORGEOUS...as are you! I love your hair in a side pony tail :)

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  2. I had a group of friends who did the almost the same thing to me. I'm happy to know it gets better. Thanks for the post. I recently posted about something similar on my blog as well coincidentally.

    p.s. I wish your sister luck

    http://paperround.blogspot.com

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  3. Such a great post! I switched high schools senior year. I went from public to private and my so called friends said I was going to turn into a snob...it was the other way around. I tried to get up with them multiple times and was even dating a guy from public school so I was still going to public school sporting events. They never spoke to me or even tried to call. Funny how people who you think are your real friends are actually some of the most selfish and self centered individuals you will ever meet.

    Love your outfit! FYI: I am letting my hair grow out because I love the way you style yours! Gorgeous!

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  4. I'm an elementary school teacher, and it's so sad that this sort of thing is starting as early as the 3rd grade. On a daily basis I have to console someone who has been crushed by one of their peers- and it breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing this story.

    Oh, and your pictures are gorgeous as always :)

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  5. so i just found your blog.
    its pretty great.
    your real pretty, and love your makeup.
    julie

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  6. Lauren: Thank you! It's probably the only other style I know how to do, haha.

    avid chancer: I love the Churchill quote you posted:)

    Jules: Ahh, kids can be so cruel. One of my best friends in middle school disowned me because - and I'm being totally serious - she became a cheerleader and she didn't think I was good for her reputation. I got over that one pretty quickly, haha!

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  7. I absolutely love the dress!

    I wonder if any of those girls read your blog and just kick themselves for being such jerks...

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  8. people are awful, i'm not really sure that it's an age thing. i think i've met just as many (if not more) crazy, crazy people as i got older as opposed to my teenage years. however, i think i've become much better at picking out the crazies and ignoring their ignorant behavior.

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  9. Hi Keiko,

    I really appreciate the fact that you shared this story on your blog. I think that a lot of people who have these experiences would rather pretend they never happened, since they are obviously painful, but I think that it's important to re-tell them, if only as a reminder that it does get better.

    And also, those kids who did that to you were miserable people (at least at the time), and probably feel even worse about the incident than you do. At least that's my hope!

    :)

    Ava

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  10. Keiko, you are so beautiful. They dress looks stunning on you. And I wish I could have been your friend. I make a mean birthday cake - if I do say so myself ;).

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  11. Such a true post. While high school wasn't hard for me, middle school was. I moved to a new town, and the kids were relentless. But, by the middle of the year I had friends. I was well liked, and no one teased me anymore. But, look at you now a successful designer, and blogger. I bet those people sure feel silly now. Oh, and These photos are gorgeous.
    My Heart Blogged

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  12. "...it gets better" Ain't that the truth. If only we could tell every teen that and have them believe us.

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  13. Ashley - that breaks my heart. What you do is so amazing, though - teachers can really change a child's world (they did for me).

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  14. Veronika, I think you are spot on. There are definitely horrible adults, but it gets easier to avoid them when you're not forced to sit next to them in a classroom:)

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  15. That's insane!

    Oh man, total flashback to following your open diary way back when and reading about your crushes and than writing about my own lol

    I would put money down that they've seen you in ads/magazines and said "I use to be friends with her in high school, you know!" It's true when they say the best revenge is living well.

    i'm sure Tessa will have her own crying-in-the-parking-lot moments, but it makes it so much easier knowing she has built in friends (aka Sisters) to rely on.

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  16. Ava, the punishment of being cruel to another being is carrying that guilt throughout the years. I've had people message me or seek me out to apologize for things they did years prior, that I never even think about. It took me awhile to realize that they're only looking to make themselves feel better - but I still appreciated the effort.

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  17. As always you looks prefect!!!
    Lovely dress <3
    Totally in love with her.
    xoxo

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  18. Oh goodness, what terrible people! It's crazy to me that people would go soooo out of there way to be mean to people. I feel like any time I've been mean to someone or hurt their feelings it was pretty accidental or through a miscommunication, not a planned out attack! Anyway, you are so right, none of it matters later. I work at a public arts school and I like to call it "The Island of Misfit Toys"... one school full of all the weirdos and loners, so they all fit in together! It's amazing!

    P.S. Adore the dress!

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  19. Shannon: How crazy is it that we've been a part of each other's lives since freaking Open Diary? BEFORE it was Free Open Diary, remember? Then livejournal, now blogger and twitter. haha. It's crazy that we haven't met in real life yet. I feel like you, me and Lauren need to have a camera crew tape our first real life encounter.

    You probably read this in my original account of the experience!

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  20. this reminds me of my 19th birthday (not really the same, but the theme of birthdays and being disappointed by friends is there). A friend told me that a group of them (classmates) were going to hold a surprise birthday party for me... I've never ever had a birthday party in my life, so I was thrilled and looked forward to it all day (maybe all week), only to keep waiting and waiting as the day was coming to an end, and to find out by the end of the night, that.. nothing. It was cancelled (apparently lots of people were "too busy" aka "didn't really know me that well because we were only in the same class for a few months so didn't want to make the effort"). I was beyond hurt and felt like a big idiot. Didn't help that the guy I was seeing at the time didn't even take the time to see me or get me anything.

    To be honest, friendship is still a mystery to me.

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  21. thank you for sharing this. That is incredibly cruel of them... but you are right to look back and see how lucky you were to have the few quality friends there for you.

    I had a core group of friends and one that I thought of as my best friend for 14 years... but it took me 14 years to realize that she wasn't a very good friend afterall. There were times she would orchestrate big get togethers going so far as to invite and go pick up my boyfriend but purposely leave me out. She single handedly took every friend I ever had for her own. With the few exceptions, which are really the only ones I'm still friends with today.

    I cried many many a night over her, but I was lucky to have my mom there to always get me through it all. I was horrified when I found out she was going to the same college as me. And while she tried to do the same thing in college, my college friends were smart enough to see through her and we finally drifted apart. Though in one last hurrah she called me on my birthday crying to tell me she cheated on her girlfriend by sleeping with my ex boyfriend. I comforted her, hung up, and threw in the towel on us.

    High school kids can be so mean... but I agree that once you get beyond it you find out that there are those people who are just down right mean and will always treat people the way they treated people in high school and there are those that don't... and you get better at telling the difference.

    (wow, sorry... that was totally unsolicited and loooong!)

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  22. Anonymous: I will take your birthday cake any day of the year:)

    My heart blogged: If nothing else, it's always strangely comforting to know that most people have endured something similar, and look at us now. We made it through!

    Amma: I know. All of these stories about teenagers killing themselves...it breaks my heart.

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  23. It's a sad story, but for a lot of people something similar happened. I had an experience compareable to this. Only my best friend was in on the plan and only returned 3 yrs later. The last year of High School was quite lonely for me. Children/young adults can be cruel and it is not important how many friends you have, as long as there is one person you can rely on, that person is worth a million more than 20 friends that don't deserve your friendship.

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  24. LOVE LOVE LOVE the lace dress!!! I'm looking for something like your dress...
    An About your story, i think is very important discover real friend and always Quality over quantity, ( sorry my english..)
    Have a good weekend!!
    xxx From Spain
    Luna
    http://pinkrockandfashion.blogspot.com/

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  25. Much love: That's horrible. It reminds me a little bit of Sixteen Candles:(

    Pixie in Pumps: Ah, the SWF kind of friend. They're toxic.

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  26. I count myself very lucky in that I'm almost done high school and have never had this sort of experience. I've always been able to form good, solid friendships without much trouble, and though some friendships have simply slipped away because of distance, I still have a great group of friends that I can always count on :)

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  27. Thank you for sharing your story. People can be so terrible but I'm more than positive that your life turned out a million times better than any of theirs!

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  28. This dress is so beautiful. You pull it of so well!

    tayloredmadelove.blogspot.com

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  29. We'll make it some weird TLC show, camera crew following us. Perhaps we should pitch it to them? "Awkward Meetings, Lasting Friendships". We were "blogging" before the word even existed. Though I cringe if I think about all the trite I wrote, at the time it was a great comfort to send something out into space and have someone say, "Oh my god, me too!". I can only hope that this recent entry is the same comfort to the next generation looking to be consoled and finding out that it's far easier, in many ways, to survive and thrive when you get older.

    All I know is that first meeting, I'll be talking a mile a minute and making bad jokes to ease the weirdness lol

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  30. It's absolutely devestating when you find out who your real friends are. By that I mean, the people you THINK are your friends just aren't. I have maybe one or two people I can REALLY count on. The day I found out who my real friends are I was 23 and I cried like hell when I realized who the jerks were... never would have guessed!

    You're beautiful and I'm stealing that outfit, so hide it. LOL Love ya!

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  31. love the romantic feeling of that outfit. I actually wore something similar to Houston fashion week you can check it out

    http://classnfab.wordpress.com/2010/10/13/houston-we-have-a-fashion-week/

    ~M
    Classy & Fabulous

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  32. What a story! It's a good place to be in when you can look back on times like that with a level head. And I know what you mean about wanting to go back and give your teenage self some advice. I have moments when I wish I could too!

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  33. That reminds me of how suddenly, senior year, my best friend and i were cast out of our little group. for some reason, we were finding out about parties or gatherings that they excluded us from and while it was horrible and confusing at first, it was comforting to have someone that i can still count as my friend (she's practically my sister; we've been friends since the sixth grade and we're 22). we quickly got over it, though. they were only interested in getting super drunk all the time. instead, we baked chocolate toffee cookies and watched movies like "never been kissed" and "10 things i hate about you" (those bad-in-a-good-way late 90s teen movies).

    and although your twitter said to skip over what you wrote, i couldn't help but to be intrigued. i love your blog so naturally, i'm going to read what you have to say :)

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  34. i've just found your blog and i love your look - so beautifully classic. thought i'd say hello as a new follower, too! elle x

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  35. It seems so strange to me that someone so beautiful and stylish would be anything but popular <3
    I didn't have much luck with friends either, and always wondered if it really was me or what was wrong with me but have found a couple kindred spirits whom I adore :) I am glad that story had a happy ending and that you can laugh at it now. I still am pretty raw sometimes.

    You are an absolute sweetheart xo

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  36. Anyone worth talking to had at least one rough time in high school. I had several. But my junior/senior year (I graduated a year early)on the first day of school, I sat down at lunch with the same 8 girls whom I had sat with for the last two years. For the next 3 days I continued to sit with them while NO ONE said a word to me.

    The rest of the year I spent lunch in the band hall with two guy friends. The story sounds much more tragic than I let it be. I'm glad it happened. I never really had anything to share with them anyways.

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  37. Yuck. Teenagers can be so mean. But you're right, friendships get so much better after high school. Out of all the lady friends I had in high school, 2 are still the loves of my life, and a couple more are ones that I can go a year without seeing, and it's always like old times. Then the rest just fall away....

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  38. that is SO terrible. kids can seriously be so mean. I really never would have expected this story from you though.. you're so absolutely gorgeous that I thought it expected you would have had a million friends in high school. anyway, this dress is beautiful & looks like it was made for you! :) x


    devorelebeaumonstre.com

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  39. That story is really awful. It made me sad just reading it. I managed to never have anything like that done to me, but I have to think it's because I held everyone at arms' length after the 7th grade when some "friends" did different but equally cruel things to me. I think I could have had more fun in high school than I did, but I was able to make some great friendships with my teachers that I value a lot. Since then, I've also become really close with one girl that I always liked a lot. She and I get each other really well, and it makes me happy that we never had to go through any drama together. But college is so much better for friends. Not that there's no drama, it's just way less intense.

    This was such a great post. I feel like it means a lot that you're willing to share this sort of thing with your readers. You always seem so humble and together, someone who'd be a real treat to call a friend :)

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  40. Despite your tweet, I definitely focused more on your words than your pictures :) Kids were, are, and will become even more horrible for no other reason than because they know they can do it. It's a great thing though that you can reflect on it, and laugh at how you came out for the better, because I know several people who just won't let go of that kind of cruelty that was done to them.

    I've talked to a few people about the quality over quantity thing with friendships. As I've gotten older, the number of friends I have are whittled down either by moving or simply growing out of one another. I look at the handful I have left, and sure enough, they're the ones I would feel the most incomplete without!

    Fantastically written post :)

    Alyssa

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  41. That's a sad story, but I'm glad you feel you've learned something from the experience. I think you're right about guilt being the price, but are you ever tempted to refuse to absolve them? I think I would be.

    (Gorgeous dress!)

    K xx


    http://duenotice.blogspot.com/

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  42. This was a really thought provoking post. And I am loving the lace dress. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  43. I really appreciate your openness and honesty in your posts. You made a follower out of me! :)

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  44. People can be so horrible to each other. Good thing you were able to grow up to see past that and feel happy about the really good friends that you have. Those are the people we should be surrounding ourselves with. Also, really pretty dress!

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  45. Also, for some reason, this post reminded me of an inspirational quote that I live by: “After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot”

    Sorry for the double comment!

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  46. keiko, i am so glad you took the time to type this up. you have quite a way with words as well. as i was reading, the scene played out before my eyes like a film - but that's what good authors are able to do and what they do for me when i read their novels - meaning, you have quite a talent, my dear.

    a similar thing happened to me, just a cruel, but in a different form, and i feel quite the same. i am so glad that it happened in the end, bcos i found my soulmates through the loss of those whom i thought were my lifelong friends. at 23 i can say it was one of the best things to happen to my life.

    oh, and of course as always, you look stunning, and i love your dress :)

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  47. You have such a beautiful spirit. I think most everyone can relate to this post. I certainly have my own sob-birthday story.
    My boyfriend threw me a surprise birthday party for what I think was my 22nd birthday. I had spent the morning with a small group of friends, had to leave to get ready for my birthday date, and accidentally left with my friend's car keys still safely tucked in my purse. The plan was to drop off the keys once Jeff, my boyfriend, picked me up and we were on our merry way. While returning the keys, I accidentally walked up to the wrong apartment building which gave Jeff a moment to tell my friend that if she and the few others left within the hour, they could make it to the surprise location, 5 minutes down the street, in time for the hurrah. Those friends proceeded to get messy drunk and leave me voicemails (t-mobile had no reception in the place we were) saying what a "shitty boyfriend" I had and that he never gave them the address and blah blah blah. Needless to say, I spent the evening crying and currently have next to no relationship with those girls. To the few people who did show up, I cherish their friendship, as they are some of the most unselfish people I know. The other jerks did end up making a quick appearance, but it was awkward, to say the lease. Though I still, and have always, dislike my birthday.

    Here's a special high five to those good apples out there.

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  48. These photos are BEAUTIFUL! Your dress is so dreamy! I love that it can be wintery and summery with just a change of accessories.

    I had an equally humiliating experience in both junior high and high school. At this point in my life, I can look back on the people who hurt me and realize that they had nothing else going for them except their mean spirited ways. And it doesn't hurt that most of the girls (and even the boys) are unsuccessful and basically an overall joke. Not that I had wished it on them or anything... it's just a feather in my cap.

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  49. that dress is gorgeous! and that was such a sad story, but its great that you can look back on it be grateful for the great friends you kept.

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  50. i just cried a little- its just that time of the month. i spent my 16th birthday at home on martin luther king day. i got a phone call around 3 from all of my friends who were hanging out together. i get you, keiko.

    xxoo
    www.paperplanesandmaryjanes.vom

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  51. I've been to three different high schools an have never had a secure group of friends and I've never had a clique. Sometimes I find myself lonely but I know I'll find true friends in the years to come that I'll be able to depend on.

    Keiko you're truly my role model and inspiration. Thank you for being you.

    Love, Chelsea.

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  52. Kids can be so cruel. But it's conforting to know that when high school is over, their games don't work anymore.

    That dress is stunning !

    There's a giveaway over at my blog.

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  53. Oh all the things I wish I could tell my teenage self! Kids can be so incredibly cruel. I bumped into one of my school yard bullies a few years ago and told him how miserable he made my life back then, turns out he didn't remember it that way! He felt so terrible about it that he wouldn't stop apologising... I still don't think I have really forgiven him! When it comes to friends I say quality over quantity!

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  54. amazing encouragement! i had a horrible high school experience but if you would have tried to tell me that then i would have cried & yelled about how you didn't understand. lol, i def laugh too when i look back.

    this dress is beautiful by the way! :)
    ♥erica

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  55. Keiko...were the road trips and sleepovers with those friends all part of their ruse? That took some dedication on their part, if so. Strangely flattering in a way, even though at the time the opposite is what came through, and no doubt, what they intended to come through. Quality > quantity when it comes to friendships for sure.

    You're an engaging, beautiful young woman...it's cliche as heck, and I realize you know it now, but that bs definitely reflected on them, not you. If you're (truly) part of a group of "friends" like that, how much can you actually trust each other? Deep down you most likely can't, and that can't be fun. Definite blessing in disguise there.

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  56. What a pretty dress! So lovely. <3

    Aww!! I'm so sorry! that is terrible! :( I've grown away from most of my friends in the past year, but I still have my best friend - my "big sister" and I love her dearly. As long as I have her, I think I can deal with anything. <3

    ~ Katie
    http://www.beautifully-pure.com

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  57. Thank you for sharing your story! I am so sorry that you would have to go through something like that on a special day. You seem like such a lovely person and I couldn't agree more that you are better off. I too am struggling with remaining in contact with friends from high school, and feeling like I belong to a "group". That's what kind of happens when you are far away from home and attending a school full of commuters.. I'm learning to keep my head up and be positive.

    That dress is gorgeous on you!!
    Beautiful pictures.

    laurenlovestoshare

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  58. You look so beautiful keiko and your last words are really relatable. I also have a small number of friends so I can relate :)

    hearts,
    Melai of Style and Soul

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  59. that dress is seriously awesome!

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  60. These are lovely pictures and a lovely dress ;).

    High school was very rough for me. College was much better.

    http://fasionablylearning.blogspot.com/

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  61. You look beautiful, this outfit is fabulous. And thank you for sharing that story. <3 It really is nice to reflect and think of how far we've come :)

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  62. Wow some kids can be cruel :( On the up side that dress is stunning x

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  63. Oh, hun- I know all to well what you went through.

    When I was turning 16 I had a dress up birthday dinner, (my birthday is near Halloween so it made sense). The party was the same night as homecoming- which was never a big event seeing as how our football team only ever won at losing- still, my 'friends' wanted to go the game. So they came for dinner and left immediately afterward. Only one friend stayed, and she is still my best friend to this day.

    I think you said it best- quality over quantity. And look at where you are now! :)

    Much love!

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  64. I really love this post. You're so right about highschool - it's really better forgotten, and somehow I always wish I could tell my teenage self that it's all trivial and meaningless and that the real life is still to come. I'm really impressed with your mature attitude, and with your support of your sister - because it really breaks my heart when people our age are still heartbroken over things that happened in highschool.
    ps. these photos are gorgeous!!! (seriously who wouldn't want to be friends with you?!)

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  65. you look gorgeous as usual~

    that was horrible, what they did to you~
    but you grew from it && found great friends!!!
    it was a very touching post btw

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  66. Thanks so much for sharing, everytime I come across someone who's real, honest and relatable it's a breath of fresh air... the best bloggers are the ones who aren't trying to be perfect but rather are normal people that go through/went through the same things we all do and are not afraid to let their readers know that they've been there.

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  67. Wow, thank you for sharing your story! I definitely can relate. & I totally agree, quality over quantity! You are a very beautiful woman and are an inspiration to your readers from all over the world. I'm pretty sure karma got 'em. Very touching story, thank you for sharing and keeping it real.
    lots of love from the Caribbean!

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  68. I think that it just shows how much of a better person you are. I mean, I've had my fair share of bullies when I was younger too. I've always thought that it was the end of the world when I was teased, but at the end of the night, you're right. We just have to let it go, look back, and laugh. You are an amazing person! And this dress is beautiful. And these pictures are wonderful.

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  69. This dress is so gorgeous!! Thank you for sharing the story about high school and life after!!

    http://inthehammockvintage.blogspot.com

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  70. That is such a poignant story, but very touching in a good way. People are cruel, but those type of people usually don't end up very far in life. While they may think high school was the all in all, really it's just a zoo. You go through it as an adventure and leave it behind. I'm glad you are still good friends with at least some of the loyal ones.

    The dress is such a great gift. You look absolutely darling in it. I like your hair in a ponytail too, very pretty.

    www.TheFancyTeacup.com
    much love.

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  71. Hi there!
    I'm really glad I read that story.
    I had some horrible times during high school and still wasn't able to forgive some mean things that people did/said to me..but your optimistic vibe has made me feel better about it, so thank you!!
    I also tried to find your beautiful lace dress on the Queen's wardrobe website but couldn't find it..only ones that were similar.

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  72. First off, you look magnificent in that dress. It's so perfectly lacey and airy, it's the perfect lace dress! And secondly, I'm so sorry that happened to you. But like you I had a somewhat similar experience (ok not really, my best best friends just turned on me and ganged up on me when I was extremely vulnerable) but still, I learned my lesson there and then about quality not quantity. But high school will always be high school sadly we can only look forward to the future and grow from it all.

    xxAnisa

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  73. Joanna: I should have mentioned that there were very real parts of our friendships. The dynamic shifted when we became seniors and the previous seniors left...it was a lot about winning favor with specific people in the group, who weren't very nice people. But I still cherish the good times, because they were really, really good - and I just remember that we were all kids. And kids just want to be liked - sometimes, at the expense of others.

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  74. Thank you so much for posting this story! I have a tear in my eye because this hit me so hard, it just reminds me of something I'm going through right now. This whole 'high school is the best time of your life" applies only to the popular kids, not really to the quiet, shy girls. I can't wait to turn my back to this place, and go through life with the true friends I've managed to find, and any others I might be lucky enough to find.

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  75. You are beautiful. Thanks for sharing this story, and I'm glad that you are still friends with Lauren and John. They sound like solid people.

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  76. You are truly gorgeous on the inside and out!

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  77. wow wow wow the dress is amazing! I love it!

    kiss xxx

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  78. No problem. Other readers probably inferred that's what the dynamic was like. High school dynamics were always foreign to me. That's a relief though, glad it wasn't ALL part of an ultimate plan.

    >and I just remember that we were all kids. And kids just want to be liked - sometimes, at the expense of others.

    Definitely makes sense.

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  79. Wow. I went to an all-girl HS and I consider myself pretty lucky to have never encountered anything cruel like that. And your little sister is lucky. I think having older sisters saved me when I was in HS. I'm proud that I was of the few that knew HS wasn't my life.. and I owe it all to my older sisters. BTW, beautiful dress!

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  80. You look amazing. What a sad but meaningful story to share. Teenagers really are assholes. I guess at the end of the day though, we should be thanking them for making them into the people we are today.

    Grace x
    secretly styled.

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  81. renda fica bem em você, alias você é linda

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  82. You look lovely ... dress is beautiful !

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  83. what a cute dress!you look totally amazing..

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  84. High school was one of the most horrible times of my life, actually. I hardly know anyone who wishes for those times to come back, most people are more than glad it's over. I spent a year abroad in the US, and when I came back to Europe, literally all my friends turned away from me because they were convinced I thought better of myself because I had lived in another country.
    But looking back, this was the best thing that happened to me (in...a weird way) because that's how I met awesome people that I am still close with till today.

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  85. you are absolutely ethereal and gorgeous! amazing!


    xx,
    Joanna
    Only the Marvelous

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  86. ahhh your words really hit home today. I'm almost graduating from college and even though I'm not as far removed from it as you are, I'm glad I can still look back on it as well and turn all the mishaps and shitty feelings, as well as the great feelings, into really amusing stories. :) ps, I teetered inbetween being a floater and a misanthrope, too! Hi-five, sista.

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  87. beautiful dress

    ♥ yamina.
    http://beyondurclothes.blogspot.com/

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  88. Thank you. That's just what I needed to hear right now.

    jarms
    http://thoughtsandothersynonyms.blogspot.com/

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  89. that is just so mean! I'm still going through it with friends (i'm in college) and it always feels like there is something about me that really annoys everyone (but no one will tell me). So either they end up leaving or I just take myself out of the situation before I think its going to get worse.

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  90. Holy crap, what a sad, awful thing to happen. And what shitheads those peopls were, I hope they all woke up one day and felt wretched for what they did.

    High school is hideous for so many of us. I did find some good friends but was also bullied terribly. My first few years of high school were some of the worst of my life. I'll never know what is in some people's hearts that allows them to be so deliberately cruel to others, it really makes you sad to be human sometimes.

    At least nowadays things are better. And you ROCK a lace dress :) x

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  91. Hi Keiko,

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. Kids can be incredibly cruel. I had horrible experiences myself in both middle school and high school. It honestly makes me scared at the thought of having kids one day and having them go through something similar. Your sister is so lucky to have you to support her through her experiences.

    - Ana

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  92. Wow. Such a well-written post! As I continued reading, I felt myself becoming increasingly PISSED. Teenagers are brutal, and like you said - it's not always necessarily their faults. They probably just had low self-esteem. Shame on their parents for not teaching them better. High school was torturous... I'm so glad we made it out alive.

    Have a great weekend.

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  93. I'm so glad you shared this story Keiko! I went through similar situations and I feel like my 'friends' back in high school still have left me feeling like a bit of a misanthrope. I can't help but think that everything does in fact happen for a reason, and that it has helped you become the strong and gorgeous woman you are today!

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  94. Thank you so much for sharing that moving story. You are amazing and beautiful!

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  95. I've been thru something so similar, I moved away from the cruel kids at 14. It takes a while to get over, but it makes us stronger for sure.

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  96. omg! these people are plain awful and they have seriously nothing to do and try to do stuffs to make you upset pretty. yup it is always important to choose good friends who can stand thick and thin with us. thanks for sharing with us your story and it serves as a good reminder of who we choose to mix with.

    I love your hair. you are so pretty =)

    xoxo
    http://stylison.blogspot.com/

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  97. Such a great story. I still see 3 of my old high school friends about once a year (we live some distance apart) and it is always wonderful. We graduated ??? years ago, too. the REAL friends are the ones that count.

    http://idontwearjeans.blogspot.com/

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  98. That really hurts to read. Teenager are the worst thing walking on these days...

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  99. First you look gorgeous in these photos, I love your hairstyling and that dress to dress, but
    second your story makes me mad. kids are so cruel, I mean thats my age, I can't imagine what I would do if my friends would do that to me. hate that, but it's good there were real friends that stayed that night and still for years.

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  100. Beautiful post and amazing photos!
    i follow you!
    xoxo
    S

    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.com

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  101. Love the outfit!

    http://kimchicsisters.blogspot.com/2011/02/saturday-morning-coffee.html

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  102. :D :D so beautiful.. I love,love,love this dress & the belt is great! :D

    http://www.style1509.blogspot.com
    Live.Laugh.Love. - everyday.

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  103. While that was a terrible incident that occurred to you, I agree that you were lucky to have it happen to you. At that moment, you knew who your true friends were. The real friends you can come to rely on. High school is filled with pins and needles, but there's always those hidden gems that come along into your possession. Tess is lucky to have an older sister like you!

    And that lace dress is absolutely gorgeous on you. I never really know how to wear lace in the winter.

    ♥ Julia
    Just Like Judas

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  104. great dress!!!kisses

    www.cailinplace.blogspot.com

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  105. Wow, you are an incredible writer!! I agree with what you said. Not all high school friends last forever, especially since high school is a time of change and everybody is still trying to figure themselves out. So there are people who no matter how close you were with during high school, become strangers later on because life simply leads you to different paths. I too always relied on a very strong group of close friends who you know will be there for you no matter what, rather than a large group of people you don't know to well.

    <3 Oriola oriolaninon.blogspot.com

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  106. First, the outfit is great! I so love seeing your outfits and this one is no exception. Second, and more important, THANK YOU for sharing that story with us! There are so many times when things like that happen and it changes our lives, for the good or the bad. Thank you again!!!

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  107. It's interesting how you posted about friendships since I was just thinking about this lately. I realized I don't have a lot of real friends. I'm in college now, and the people who I thought were my friends aren't. It sucks. Glad the you know who your real friends are!

    That's a gorgeous dress, by the way.

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  108. Keiko, you're kind of amazing.

    I had similar high school 'friends', and I take comfort in knowing that people get what they deserve in the end, even though I might not be there to see it. In the same way, I think that people who deserve true success and happiness will find it comes to them, eventually. You're proof of that, and I hope the future brings you all you deserve. Thank you so much for sharing that story.

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  109. Aww Keiko! I think we all have a similar story from high school. I'm so glad those days are over. I often wish I could go back and assure my teen aged self that none of that crap matters in the long run. I used to lament about not having a big group of girlfriends, sometimes I still do, but I know that the few friends I DO have are all genuine, awesome people and I am blessed to have them.

    Thanks for sharing your story! Sending hugs your way for being super rad, always.

    xx, Katrina

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  110. absolutely lovely, gorge dress

    http://elenavasilieva.blogspot.com/
    x

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  111. You know, I've been following your blog for a few months now, and the more I read about you, the more I like you. I'm twenty-two, and even though this post doesn't really change a whole lot for me, I'm sure there are tons of high school aged girls reading fashion blogs and I think it's really nice of you to share something like that to let them know that high school isn't everything and it's never as bad as it seems in the big picture. I'll definitely be forwarding this post to my younger sister, who just turned sixteen.

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  112. simply beautiful. your outfit. you. the way you interpret the story now. i mean at first i thought i was gonna puke from the happy high school cliche' then you showed us the real. very brave of you.

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  113. That is so pathetic that those people planned it out to ditch you on your birthday. I guess they had nothing else to do with their sad little lives.

    I really like your outfit and hair!

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  114. beautiful pics!!
    You look so pretty.
    I love the dress <33

    xxx

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  115. i love how you styled your hair. and omg that dress is to die for

    http://www.postmodernrunway.com/

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  116. Hi Keiko! I´m from Brazil and I really like your blog! I enter here almost every day, and you always suprise me with this wonderful pics!!!

    Thank you for sharing this story... I loved

    Sorry for my baaaad english =)
    Kisses, Jo

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  117. I think people either loved HS or hated HS. I fund few in-between. Kids will be kids, but it doesn't make cruel actions hurt any less.

    I'd rather set chards of broken glass than go back to HS. It just wasn't my thing nor were any of the people.

    You look very pretty!

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  118. High school wasn't my favorite time of the year. I hated most of it. Things like this have happened to me before but yeah, life goes on and you get to see who your true friends are.

    Nice post. Nice dress too. :)

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  119. Thanks for sharing. I certainly remember what it's like to have a large group of 'friends' suddenly ditch. People can be awful. You are lucky, though, to have had such wonderful friends stick by you. Despite all of the bullshit, I definitely met a couple really great people in high school that I still keep in touch with. Good friends can be hard to come by and it's worth keeping in touch, despite time and distance.

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  120. oo my what a crual story !!!

    i feel for you. But damn, their lost !

    you are pretty pretty pretty in that dress !

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  121. Beautifully written and a very strong message which I bet a few of your readers really need. Thanks, Keiko. And of course, you look beautiful as always,

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  122. Such an amazing and true post.
    Something very similar happened to me in high school.
    People can be cruel.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    P.S I love your outfit ♥

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  123. Congratulations!!!! :D
    you have been awarded as one of the best bloggers of 2011
    check it here :
    dontbeataleteller.blogspot.com
    well done ;)

    you have to post this and award ten other blogs!
    kisses!

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  124. hi keiko.. what a lovely dress.. you look fab .. and the story was so touching .. now I am in final year of my college.. when I was in high school I too use to fret over this thing of not having friend or being ignore by a friend.. but now regarding this issue I belief I have at last found peace with myself...

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  125. Dear Keiko.
    You look amazing. At all time. Whatever you are wearing. However... Winter, with its darkness and the ice cold is killing me.
    Please please please show us more color again. I miss it. I think I need it ;)
    /Malin

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  126. I'd bet that the bullies are now trying to ignore the fact that girls all over the world (including myself, from Malaysia) really enjoy your writing, outfits, and spirit while we know nothing of their existence except through your words.

    What would your reaction be if that group of them were to come back to you hoping to be friends again? You, not knowing their sincerity and intentions.

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  127. I'm glad you find it funny now but, that is still terrible! Kids really can be so cruel, I always wonder where the means ones are now...

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  128. I love when you share things about yourself like this. I'm 17 right now, and your story is something most people can relate to. I have always been real quiet and independent but I'm slowly opening up to people now I have left secondary school, (high school) college is so much better!
    When I first read that story however, the first thing that popped into my head was the movie 13 going on 30! The beginning part at the girls birthday party.

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  129. This makes me remember how much I do NOT miss high school (as long ago as that was, eep!) - I have always been a firm believer in quality over quantity when it comes to the people in my life, though that also has its downsides when you realize if your two friends are busy, you are alone. ;) I think I've struck a balance in my adult life, not clinging to the one or two people I love most, but not befriending any & all - just surrounding myself with positive people who make life feel good. :) That all said, you look SO pretty here! Love that dress on you, and love your hair here! Gorgeous!

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  130. This was so inspiring, thank you for sharing. You are very brave. Your sister is lucky to have you <3

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  131. Thank you for sharing! From one former misanthrope to another, middle/high school was definitely a pain. It does indeed get better, and looking back I wouldn't change a thing!

    BTW, you look gorgeous as always!

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  132. Hi Keiko!

    It's just horrible how people treat eachother, especially at that age when you're so vulnerable and trying to figure out who you are. I've learned that people will do almost anything to fit in and feel a part of something, even if it is something cruel and horrible. The ones that care about us and love us stick around and will be by our sides through anything and those are the friendships worth putting time and effort into.

    I think these nasty things that happen to us are really good in the long run because they make us the people we are and give us much more appreciation for the great friends that we have.

    Emma x

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  133. Keiko,

    Firstly, you look beautiful (as always), and I adore your hair here. Secondly, and more importantly, thank you for sharing that with us. It was awful and wonderful to read, at the very same time.

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  134. Dear Keiko,
    I just wanted to say that its been three weeks since I found your blog after I saw a gorgeous outfit of yours on Chictopia.You have a very unique style but most importantly you are a truly wonderful person.I was reading everyones comments to this story and it shows that you are an inspiring mentor for every girl out there.Its nice to know that there are such remarkable individuals like you :)

    Sincerely
    Elany Hicks

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  135. I empathize with you, lovely. You are beyond beautiful btw. I love reading your blog.

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  136. I'm positive that your high school "friends" that ditched you that day did so because they were threatened by your obvious beauty and charm and wanted to feel bigger than you by making you feel small. I would bet all of my money that you were/are/will be a better person than any of them, but you're also stunning and talented, which adds insult to their injury.

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  137. Aw, Keiko, your honesty is one of the main reasons I love reading your blog :) Like many of the other commenters, I also had a rough time at school in terms of friends and "fitting in". You are such an inspiration for girls like us and I'm glad that you shared your story, thank you.

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  138. I wore an outfit very similar to this today, because I was stricken by the 60's chic-ness of your pictures in this post.

    But i'm more struck by the words.

    Friendship circles tighten, and when you get on in life (I'm rounding 29), you feel the need to tighten it even further, cutting out the people who don't throw as much of their hearts into the friendship as you do. It becomes more important to cut out the miscellany, the ones who bring no value or value you too little, and focus on the ones who have proven themselves true and worthy friends, to you and to themselves. It's great when you can look back on such a horrifying moment and realize that so much wonder came of it all.

    I'm sure at the time, I would have been mortified and betrayed, but hopefully most people who this has happened to can look at it with the same objectivity and see the happy miracle that came of it.


    Xx,
    Mae Lu @ thereafterish.

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  139. Hey Keiko, the moment I laid eyes on your blog it became a favorite, I luv all your looks and thanks for sharing your story, as you can see a lot of people can relate to this, including me, I've always struggled with this kind of thing in high school and even after that phase of my life. Thanks

    xoxo

    www.LeStyleJournal.blogspot.com

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  140. I think it's great that you can laugh about it - I found it gutwrenching to read!

    Touching post, and yes - quality wins hands down.

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  141. Thanks for sharing your story. I think it is important to let teens know that these things happen to some degree to everyone.It's a hard lesson to learn, but well worth the quality of friends you end up with.

    The dress IS beautiful, I like the sheer inset on top.

    AlbeeLucky.blogspot.com

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  142. Love everything about this post. Especially your hair, eek!

    http://fridayisforever.blogspot.com/

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  143. Lovely photos and outfit as always. Wow, what horrible people! I can't believe people would do that. A defining moment to realize who your real friends are.

    XO, Katie
    Running on Happiness

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  144. I really wanted to say that I loved this kind of post from you, not saying that I enjoyed hearing a sad story from the past, but it was cool to hear you just word it out, and be open.

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  145. Great pics, that belt is awesome with the lace dress, thanks for posting

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  146. Ooooh that dress is amazing on you, you look so gorgeous !

    xx, Leah.

    http://hapiness-love-music.blogspot.com

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  147. Thank you so much for this post, Keiko. I've never had that cliquey, tight-knit group of friends either. Just a random spattering of really great, close friends, all over the country. Quality over quantity, indeed.

    Oh - and in response to one of the earliest comments, from a 3rd grade teacher who said it starts that early - I student taught a kindergarten class and I can safely say it starts even as early as kindergarten.

    And of course, beautiful dress. I also like the way you've done your hair as well.

    Hope you have a lovely day!

    -Liz

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  148. wow. i found that to be rather inspirational.

    you are awesome!

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  149. First: I LOVE the outfit and pics! They are amazing. It all just looks so in balance and at peace :)

    Second: how rude!! high schoolers can be so cruel. I had some insanely mean jerks like that around back in high school too. I'm so glad that I never have to see any of them again.

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  150. Keiko, I love the dress, but I love the story even more. Keep up the excellent work.

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  151. Oh my. Your pictures get better everyday I visit your blog.

    I had a terrible time during highschool actually. But it's over. Made me stronger. And here I am. Those experiences make us what we are in the present.

    Thanks for sharing that with your readers.

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  152. That story made me want to cry. I have never really understood kids choices in school and the social hierarchy that goes along with it. I changed schools quite a bit growing up. My peers were sometimes really nice, other times, not so nice. Growing up should be fun. I wish we didn't have to have horrible memories, but I think it makes us stronger in the long run.

    Love your dress and your blog btw!

    -Amanda

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  153. Gosh high schoolers can be so mean! But at least you can laugh at it now and you learned who your true friends were :)

    Love your lace dress! It is gorgeous.

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  154. That story broke my heart! I can definitely relate. I was always the quiet shy foreign girl who no one really wanted to associate with. I am SO glad highschool is over! I hope it's not as hard for your sister, give her a big hug for me! xoxo

    Oh and needless to say I love everything! From your hair down to the belt, gorgeous!

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  155. ADORE YOUR DRESS! omg it is amazing!
    xoxo
    http://www.around-the-hourglass.blogspot.com

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  156. Great story, Keiko, I can totally relate. I think everyone who went through school feeling like a bit of a misfit can relate! It's great that you can laugh about it now... I still beat myself up over those times occasionally. Plus, you look gorgeous!

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  157. Absolutely gorgeous! :)

    http://commonsenseandstilettos.blogspot.com/

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  158. Your hair is epic! Have you ever done a tutorial on your bangs??? (crosses fingers)

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  159. First time I read your blog and I really thought it was a great story. Very well written and refreshing to see more than just pretty clothes but something more to go with it. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your blog.

    Love from Chicago,
    Y

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  160. Wow, great post and i love the outfit!
    I totally agree with you in your story. Definitely quality over quantity! I had a best friend not so long ago, who one day turned her back on me, because of a guy. Silly me I thought I meant more to her than the guy. :(
    I can only learn from my experience.
    Thanks sweetie xx

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  161. The dress is beautiful. But aside from how beautiful your photos are, i love your message below. Well put and so true. Thank you!

    xo Jen

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  162. oh my gosh these are such beautiful beautiful pictures! what an amazing dress!

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  163. Oh gosh, the teenage years can be so tough! Often times, it's tough due to no fault of the target. Such a shame. I'm sure when those people, now being adults, look back on what they did they feel absolutely embarrassed and horrible. At some point they will probably have a younger sibling or child who will experience something similar, then they'll really be kicking themselves.

    I wish your sister the best of luck; there certainly is a (much better, much more interesting) life after high school!

    And, love that dress!

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  164. Wow, I love this dress. Also, awhile back you restyled another pretty lace dress. When/where did you learn to sew?

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  165. That lace dress is stunning!

    http://elegancebyvirtue.blogspot.com/

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  166. thanks for this post; it's nice to know that I'm not the only one to feel like I'm "forever teetering between being a floater and a misanthrope", and that the drama dies down as people mature. loving your blog.

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