...until never begins, until forever ends.
This has been, for lack of a better description, a freaking weird year. I don't want to say "bad," because it was scattered with little hints of out-of-this-world-amazing, and what's the use in grading your life, anyway? It is what it is. I am as lucky as I am unlucky, and as resilient as I am hopeless. My entire life has been equal parts extraordinary beauty and tragedy, with a period of lulls between. If it was anything but, I might be an entirely different girl. Despite my pitfalls and bouts of self-deprecation, I am usually certain of one thing: I like the girl I am. I am flawed; I am absolutely out of my mind sometimes. I make questionable life choices in moments of sheer stubbornness and over-analyze everything in my path, no matter how simplistic it may be. My head is in the clouds, but my feet have a difficult time doing much more than holding steady. In addition to all of that crazy I just introduced you to, I'm also intelligent, driven, passionate, mildly talented and a barrel of freakin' teddy bears and candy.
In short, I am just one big mess of a girl. Wouldn't my life be an absolute bore if I wasn't?
I've done this before, but I have a whole throng of new readers. Therefore, here are some new facts about me:
- I enjoy the act of falling in love so much more than being. It's dynamic. Frustrating, exciting, nauseating. It's the comfort that comes afterward that most people crave, but I miss the butterflies and uncertainty.
- I make a great deal of my decisions based on two things: logic and cowardice. Sometimes I have a hard time telling the difference.
- I hate feeling vulnerable. I don't know anyone who likes it, but I really, really hate it. That being said, I apparently have no problem sharing personal matters with the internet world. How's that for a paradox?
- My favorite Smashing Pumpkins song is Mayonaise. It's probably my favorite song from the 90s, period.
- I have been in love more than once. Each time has been a completely different feeling.
- I have also been in love with more than one person at once. Judge away.
- I have a huge crush on Mark Ballas from Dancing With the Stars. Swoon.
- My first "date" was half-blind. I had no idea he didn't know me; my friend left that part out. He basically ignored me the whole night, and eventually ran away - literally. I didn't see him again until a year or two later. When we made eye contact, he jogged away...again. What an odd guy!
- I'm honest to a fault. And yes, I consider it a fault.
- It's Saturday night and I'm updating my blog - and simultaneously making Tessa's dress for her 8th grade dance.
- I bawl every time I see the Desmond/Penny scene in Lost ("The Constant"). I have watched it a dozen times and I cry every. single. time.
- My prom date was my gay best friend. He talked me out of wearing jeans underneath my dress. I was a weird girl.
- I want to have this girl's outlook on life. I can do anything good!
- My favorite driving song is Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" - such a good song to drive to! Tawny Kitaen had all the moves back then.
- My first rat's name was Splinter. She (yes, she) was fancy, but not a master of martial arts.
- Mad Girl's Love Song is one of my favorite poems.
- Fresh orange blossoms are one of my favorite scents. I'm a Florida girl, what can I say?
I would love to get to know any of you who are willing to participate. Tell me some random things about you - your strengths, weaknesses, interests - whatever strikes your fancy.